Now notice the speed of your breathing, as it begins to gradually slow down, and you begin to find comfort and relaxation. Your memories are now completely around you, and you feel like your body wants to sink gently into the chair, deeper and deeper. Lean back and remember the happy moments. Nothing can distract you. Nothing can harm you. You are in a safe place. A comfortable place. A relaxed place. Focus in on your breathing, as your eyes slowly read the text and recall all your best memories and the best of times. Now in a few moments you will be inside these moments, these memories. For this to really feel real, you need to truly remember these moments. Remember them as if they were happening at this very moment. Think of a moment. A very… special moment. A moment that cannot be replaced by anything or anyone. I want you to place yourself in the image, and remember what it felt like at that exact moment. No one can judge you. No one can laugh at you. This is just you. Breathe the rich air and enjoy the sun, and take a mental walk around the area. Perhaps there is someone you know with you as well, and they are smiling and laughing and maybe you are playing a childish game with them.

Take in all your surroundings. Maybe bend down and pick something up, one of your childhood favorites. A rock, a toy, or maybe even a piece of plastic. Whatever seems most fitting to you. Now I want you to examine this object. Feel its texture, its rough edges and its smooth ones. Look at its color, and how it shines occasionally in the light. Place it back down and walk around a little more. Remember, this is your past, your memories, and they are special to you and only you. No one can take these away from you.

Look up at the light, whether it is the sun or just simply a light bulb. Feel its warmth touching your skin, and allow this feeling to relax you, and calm you, in a subconscious level. Your past can be one of your most precious moments in your life, but also one of your worst. Imagine all those bad moments disappearing, and vanishing into the distance. The good ones are the ones you want to remember, and the good ones are the ones that you want to go with you until the end.

Now we’re going to take a journey into your future. Take a deep breath and hold it in, then let it out slowly. Relax your muscles. From the tips of your toes, and up into your legs, up past the thighs, past the belly and the chest, past the eyes and the cheeks, and all the way to the top of your head. Now imagine all of your memories fading away, as you see someone standing in front of you. They are faced away, but turn to face you. This is your future self. It is calm, relaxed, and happy, and looks at you with open eyes. Now I want you to step into that person,  that person that you truly want to be, and become this person mentally and emotionally. Look at it in the eye and take a step forward, and become this person.

You are in an average sized house. Brown colored walls surround you and the smell of bacon on the grill fills the room. Couches line the walls, and one of your kids is falling asleep. You walk over and into the kitchen, where your spouse is cooking up some bacon and eggs. You walk towards them and give them a gentle kiss on the cheek, before sitting down at the table. You can hear children laughing in the other room as your two other children walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. They look at you and smile, happy as can be, as you look at their beady eyes in amazement and joy. This is your life. You are happy, and relaxed, and stress free, and the world is working perfectly for you.

Now slowly come back to the seat that you sit on and pull away from this life. Imagine a hole in front of you. It is dark and smells of blood and mucus, and you are standing right at the entrance. The walls seem to be made of some sort of metal, and there is a large tube that is coming out from the hole and down into a large jar, about three times larger than you are. You begin to sweat immensely as you can hear the sounds of metal scraping against skin, and you try to see into the hole. It is much larger than your body, and you are careful not to fall in. Your muscles begin to tense up, as the ground you stand on begins to shake, but you are too focused on trying to see inside the hole. You hold your breath as you hear a tearing sound coming from the hole, and the tube above you begins to shake around violently. You grab onto it, trying to prevent it from coming out, and you hold it in place as best as you can. You are now covered in sweat and fear, worried about what might be coming. Your heart is pumping faster and faster every second, and with every passing second, you breath becomes heavier and quicker. The tearing sound grows louder, until you hear the sounds of cracking wood and ripping rubber. Blood shoots out of the hole and drops hit you in the face. You look to the tube to see what looks like a human head being pulled through. Blood trials down the tube as the head is pulled closer and closer towards you. It is followed by other such body parts, until the tube is emptied into the jar and is pulled away. The jar remains, as you recover yourself from the trauma. Now walk around and look inside the jar, Toes and fingers and organs are floating around the soupy mess that appears to be human. Walk around it and try to make out any more features. Your heart beat is racing and sweat is coming off in gallons, as you see the a face looking out of the jar. It is the face of a child. A baby. An infant. Unborn and lifeless. Its face is familiar and seems close, as you realize the shocking truth. This baby is you. This was you.

Now come back from this dream and feel your heart beat. Feel your fingertips and your lungs. The you that you know never actually existed. The childhood memories filled with joy and laughter, and the future you, with a family and three kids. Gone. It never happened. And it will never happen. You were killed before you were even born, before you even had a say. That is the reality. That is abortion. Think about it….

Obsession,

Murder is in our plans!

Aggression,

Transgression,

The tool’s a killers hands!

Profession,

Regression,

It all seems so unreal!

Termination,

Domination,

Of those who cannot feel!

Can’t we…

Look and see…

Exactly what’s been done?

Do we…

Realize…

Just what’s been going on?

[Chorus]

We seem to believe,

In these plans of deceit.

We seem to take hold,

In these things we cannot see.

Yet we murder our young,

Sacrificed for pride,

Of a tale we were too shy to tell!!

Dissection,

Mutilation,

Is this what’s in our blood?!

Temptation,

Desperation,

Can’t we see that we aren’t god?!

Irritation,

Suffocation,

The violence from within!

Vocation,

Salvation,

Is covered up with our new sin!

Can’t we…

Look and see…

Exactly what’s been done?

Do we…

Realize…

Just what’s been going on?

[Chorus]

We seem to believe,

In these plans of deceit.

We seem to take hold,

In these things we cannot see.

Yet we murder our young,

Sacrificed for pride,

Of a tale we were too shy to tell!!

It was Edwards’s 10’Th birthday, and he had decided to gather up his friends and spend the day at Forfølge Beach. They had arrived and unpacked their things on the sand, when he thought of a great idea; they would play hide and seek. Edward turned his head into his palms and began to count aloud as his friends scurried every which way and that, trying to find the best possible place to hide. Some wanted to hide in the water and behind the rocks, while others hid up behind the trees on the shore. Before they had all hidden, one child thought it would make a good joke to leave Edward and leave him wandering on the beach. The others thought it was great, and made their way up and into the forest. They ran past the trees, past the boulders, past the logs, and made their ways into hidden and secret places that they were certain Edward wouldn’t find. Some were behind the large towering trees, and others were lying in the thick green grass. Just as they disappeared from sight, Edward shouted out that he had finished and was ready to look for them. They giggled behind the trees as he searched the beach desperately, with little luck. After about a half hour, the children grew tired of waiting for him, and fell asleep in the shade. Edward had not yet given up though, as he was persistent to find his friends and prove himself to them. After all, he was 10 now, and he needed to show them all what that meant.

He looked behind the rocks and under the bushes, yet still couldn’t seem to find anyone. He searched around the car and even under the towels, but there was no one to be found. Then he looked up to the cliffside and saw the old grey castle looming over the beach. “Of course!” he thought as he ran quickly to the cliffs edge. He looked up to the top, anxious to prove himself to his friends and exited at the thought. His hands made contact with the sharp rock wall, and soon he found himself climbing up quicker than he could have ever imagined. His small body didn’t provide much support when climbing, but his determination was enough to keep him going. He looked down and noticed how high up he now was, and fear began to come over him. He bit his lip, counted to ten, and knew that he would find his friends at the top. He looked back up with a goal and continued to climb up the tall and rocky cliff. His hands were now hurting slightly, but he was so close to the top and could now see the tower of the castle. Adrenaline pushed his body upwards and he soon found the ledge. He pulled his body to the top and stood up proudly, looking up at the castle in front of him.

Crows circled around the large tower, watching Edwards every move as he recovered from the climb. Once he noticed them, they flew quickly into the trees and out of sight, like rabbits running away from a dog.  He breathed heavily, taking a few moments to savor the victorious moment before heading to the door. The stairs in the front were cold and made of grey stone slabs, which matched those that made up the rest of the castle walls. The trees around it were very tall and very old, so Edward could tell that no one had been up there in a while. He took the first step up the stairs, feeling a chill go down his spine. His fingers trembled as he took the second step, making his way closer to the door. His childish imagination began to run wild, as he imagined all the terrible things that could be waiting for him inside. His breathing began to get faster and his hands began to grow sweatier. He remembered why he had climbed all that way, and he knew he couldn’t turn back now.

Once he had achieved control over his fear, he grabbed hold of the cold metal doorknob and twisted it to the left. It creaked loudly as the metal crunched against the old wooden boards. Squinting his eyes, he twisted it all the way and pushed the door open, revealing a dark and empty room. He stepped in slowly, and as he did so, his eyes began to adjust to the dim lighting in the large hall. He was slowly beginning to make out shapes on the wall; armor suits and book cases lined the walls, giving it a very old and creepy feel. It was a very dusty room, and even his feet made footprints on the checkered tile due to the dust that had gathered over the years. There were only two very small windows and a large staircase in the middle of the room that lead up to the second level of the castle. Edward coughed as he walked into the heart of the room and looked up to the door at the top of the stairs. It was slightly smaller than the door that he had entered from, yet it had a strange feeling to it. Edward slowly walked towards the staircase, eyeing the statues and armor suits on the walls and in the corners. They seemed to be watching him as he ascended up the wooden stairs to the second level, as if telling him to keep going. He could now make out the framework of the door; its metal lining and cold steel bolts in the corners. It had chains holding it shut, and multiple large locks here and there to keep it securely fastened shut. It wasn’t meant to keep someone out, but it seemed to be keeping something in.

Edward coughed again as he wiped some of the dust off of the handles. He could faintly make out the phrase “Hemmelig dårlig” carved into the metal, as if written in a hurry. His heart raced as he pulled his hand away from the doorknob. He knew he wanted to open the door, yet he felt deep inside that he shouldn’t. His fingers began to shake again and he was now sweating beyond compare, even in the cold Norwegian climate. He began to turn towards the stairs, when he heard a giggling sound behind him. He looked back at the door quickly, only to have the giggling stop immediately. It sounded like his friends, and he then knew that they must have been behind the door. He ran down the stairs and the giggling grew louder, as he grabbed an axe from one of the armor suits. It felt heavy in his young arms, but it was the only way to get in. He trudged back up the stairs as the laughter stopped, and he began to hack away at the chains. Bit by bit the fell to the ground, and soon the entire door was free. He dropped the axe in accomplishment, before hearing a voice on the other side. “We’re in heeereee…” came from behind the door, as Edward gripped the handle tightly. He smiled as he felt satisfaction and victory, and he turned the knob quickly. He opened the door in a hurry, and fear instantly grew over his face. His eyes sucked back into his head as his body was pulled into the room. A malevolent scream filled the castle as the sound of breaking bones and tearing flesh gushed out of the small room. A crow landed on the windowsill and looked in, laughing silently to himself as Edward made his final groans of pain, before collapsing to pieces on the ground.

His body fell out of the room and rolled down the stairs, revealing not a face but a wooden mask placed on his head. The bolts that held it in place drilled all the way back into his skull, causing blood to spew all over the floor. The mask had no holes, but drawn on facial features resembling that of a dead corpse. Edward tried to take it off, but couldn’t find the strength to do so. His muffled cry could be heard fading away, as he took his last breath and dropped his head to the blood stained tile.

An old man walked out from the doorway, dressed in a long bloody robe and holding a small wrench. He lifted his hood and looked up into the sky with a new pair of eyes.

“This boy’s face makes an excellent piece to my collection.” He said as he walked towards a shelf on the wall. He pulled a small lever and the shelf opened up to reveal a secret room, filled to the brim with small jars. Thousands of faces stared at him from the jars, as he placed Edwards on the closest shelf. He smiled and walked back up the stairs and into the bloody room, as the crow that had been watching cawed into the sky and flew back to the forest. The castle grew silent, as the sun began to set on the beach below, and the fresh smell of blood filled the air.

The children still go to Forfølge Beach on occasion, though they never did find out what happened to little Edward. They still play hide and seek and still play dirty tricks. They still hide deep in the forest, past the boulders and the logs, and sometimes when they are behind the large towering trees, and lying in the thick green grass, they can still hear little Edwards’s voice whispering gently into their ears. “Help me… It seems I’ve lost my way…”

With a rip and a claw they came scurrying,
Out from the ground they came.
Yet the gentle bells stay strung in the air,
Tintinnabulation they say.

The hall now haunted that night,
The smell of corpses old,
And the gentle bells strung in the air.
Tintinnabulation,
Calling from the chimes,
And the dead ran loose that night.

Now they noticed the sound and were yearning,
To hear that noise once again.
Yet the bells stay strung in the air,
Tintinnabulation they say.

The hall was unpleased that night,
With the sounds and sights,
So the gentle bells strung in the air,
Tintinnabulation,
Calling from the chimes,
And the dead left the world that night.
And the dead left the world that night.

I’ve used my share,
Lost the fight,
But the ink remains pressed to my heart.

[Chorus:]
They caught me on the bathroom floor,
Bloodstained blistered hands,
Shaking,
Quaking.
They caught me searchlights up and high,
Bloodstained cut up hands,
Making,
Taking,
Taking me away.

There’s poison in this cup I drink,
Not poison for the hunted few,
But the poison is for me.

I’ve used my share,
Lost the fight,
But the poison remains tied to my heart.

[Chorus:]
They caught me on the bathroom floor,
Bloodstained blistered hands,
Shaking,
Quaking.
They caught me searchlights up and high,
Bloodstained cut up hands,
Making,
Taking,
Taking me away.

There’s no way to ever tell,
When those memories will leave,
Leave my heart and let me pass.
There’s no way to ever tell,
When those memories will leave,
Leave my heart and let me pass.

[Chorus:]
They caught me on the bathroom floor,
Bloodstained blistered hands,
Shaking,
Quaking.
They caught me searchlights up and high,
Bloodstained cut up hands,
Making,
Taking,
Taking me away.
Taking me far away…
Far away…
…from this…

I’m still bleeding,
Just not the same,
Not the same this time.

You said I would be free,
You said I would have it all,
But take a look at me now.
What are you looking at now?
Do you even recognize me?
Do you even know who I am?
No!

[Chorus:]
Never again,
Will I fall for you.
Never again,
Will I trust in you.
Never again,
Will I loose this to you.
Never, never again.
Will I believe the lies!

I’m still beating,
Just not the same,
Not the same this time.

I’m still tearing,
Just not the same,
Not the same this time.

I said I would be free,
I said I would have it all,
But I look at myself now,
What am I cursing at now?
I don’t remember anything.
I don’t even know where it began.
No!

[Chorus:]
Never again,
Will I fall for you.
Never again,
Will I trust in you.
Never again,
Will I loose this to you.
Never, never again.
Will I believe the lies!

I have two choices left,
Do I dare love the perfection I will never find,
Or should I run and be free before it swallows me?

But now I know one thing…

[Chorus:]
Never again,
Will I fall for you.
Never again,
Will I trust in you.
Never again,
Will I loose this to you.
Never, never again.
Will I believe the lies!

Believe the lies…
Believe your lies…
Believe my lies.
Believe our lies.
Belive her lies!
Believe his lies!!
Believe my lies!!!
NO!!!!!!!

[Chorus:]
NEVER NEVER AGAIN!
Will I ever ever fall for you.
NEVER NEVER AGAIN!
Will I ever ever trust in you.
NEVER NEVER AGAIN!
Will I ever ever loose this to you.
NEVER NEVER AGAIN!
Will I believe these consistant lies!

Think of someone,
But not just anyone at all.
Someone you hold dear and close,
Someone that makes the world seem worth it,
And someone that is irriplaceable by any other.
Someone you love and adore,
Someone who can always make you smile,
Even in the gloomiest of times.

Now imagine yourself in a dark cave, all alone with no food or water. Imagine the lights are all out and you can’t even see your own hand. You can feel things crawling about your skin, but can’t be botheres to get rid of them. Worms crawl into your hands and feet, And rats nibble at your eyes and ears. Roots from above hang over your face, as the sticky black sap runs over your skin. You feel cold and lonely and wish to see that person just once more before you die. Then you see a small light, its warmth touching your cold dry skin. You stabd up and the worms and pest leave you, running into their holes as the light approaches. That light soon makes out the shadow of the person. They smile and run towards you, pulling you out of the cave and onto a cliff overlooking the sea. The sun is setting but never sets as the two of you sit down on the cliffside and look at the waves below crashing into the sand. Small fish swim about the person pulls your favorite food out of the ground and hands it to you. You are both surrounded by thousands of fireflies as the sun slowly disappears and the moon takes its place. The stars shine down as you both lay down on the soft grass, feeling the cool breeze on your skin. Soon, you find yourselves in a vast field surrounded by glowing flowers. They burt out into butterflies and circle you both as you laugh. One lands on the persons face and they look at you, blinded by the butterflies glowing blue wings. They laugh, startling the butterfly into flying off into the group again. The person takes you by the hand and runs with you until you find yourselves walking at the botton of the ocean floor. Fish swim past you as you walk along through the sand. You breathe in as if it were air, and you run in circles around a shelf of coral trying to catch the other person. A large swarm of flourescent jellyish swim overhead, shining differant colors of light onto you. It is the most amazing feeling you have ever felt, love. Soon you dont even remember where you are or what you are doing, because nothing else matters anymore. You have found someone. Someone who you can care about freely with no pain or suffering. The cave is behind you, and you begin to see the world in a new way. Things are amazing. You find yourselves back on the cliffside, as the sun slowly starts to rise. You reach for their hand one last time before the day, but they pull back. Confused, you look at them puzzled, as they pull out a chain and tie you to a metal ball. They stab your arms and leave you, as the world begins to turn dark once again. Walls build around you and worms and rats come back in the thousands. The sun turns black and falls out of the sky, as you see the person grab someone else and run off as if you never existed. Water soon begins to flood the pitch dark cave, and the chains binding you down hold you to the bottom. Your breathe runs out as you slowly begin to drown. You wait for hours but you just wont die. The pain has become so great, both emotionally and physically, but you cannot die. You are trapped. With no chance of ever feeling that feeling again….

Where am I supposed to go?
The colors faded slow…
Drained across my skin…
And back to the other me…

What is it you’re saying?
Time… And… Time… Again…

[chorus]
It’s a lie!
Slowly crawling.
It’s three words!
That I’m hating.
Said too much!
They’re never what they were always meant…
…to be…

What am I supposed to think?
When all the hope has fled…
A fact that never stays…
A fact that’s killing me…

How can I still remain true…
When all the lies and truth…
Are merged into one place…
One place inside of me…

What is it that you said?
Time… and… time…… AGAIN!!!

[chorus]
It’s a lie!
Slowly crawling.
It’s three words!
That I’m hating.
Said too much!
They’re never what they were always meant…
…to be…

It’s a lie!
Now slowly crawling.
It’s three words!
That now I’m hating.
Said too much!
They’re never what they always meant…
…to me…

…to me…

…to…………

me…..

The island was a place known by the locals of Fairfield, Washington as a dangerous place. Located a few miles east of the small town, it was seperated from the rest of the redwood forest by a large, circular trench that trailed along both sides. The only way on and off it was a long, narrow bridge barely big enough to fit two cars. The people of Fairfield had placed restrictions around the place, as people had been known to have gone missing in the forests nearby. The native indians called it the black dust. Locals figured it was just a name to scare the children away. But in a town of less than 600, even the smallest tales can spread quickly…

Large grey clouds rolled overhead as the cold autumn air gently nudged Keiv back into the warmth of the large, stone castle. The grey wooden door slowly closed behind him as he took off his dark cloak and placed it on a rack beside the window. He was a reasonably tall man, with short, moon white hair that seemed to glow under the starlight. His long fingers Moved slowly in an almost wave-like fashion as he waited for his grey eyes to adjust to the light. He stood for a moment in the silence, slowly wiping fresh blood off of his white fingertips and allowing his heart beat to reduce back to its regular and rhythmic self. After he had adjusted, his eyes drew their attention on the window. He looked out, whiping frost off the icy glass, at the two large statues standing in the front of the long narrow bridge that led off of the island. They seemed to be standing guard of the whole place with their large wings folding over the top of the bridge like a gateway. Their horned tails met in the middle and opened like a small gate when pushed, which often attracted the attention of small animals and birds. Grey tombstones littered the cold black dirt like trash on a dirty beach. The bases of the graves were stained black by the soil, and small worms had begun to eat there way through the stone.

He watched as a small deer noticed the statues on the island, holding it’s tail upright as it did so. It slowly made its way onto the bridge, careful not to disturb any of the crows resting on the one side. As it approached the tails it looked around for any sign of danger and, seeing safety, pushed through and onto the front path that lead to the castle doors. It ventured off course towards a small weed and began to pick it out of the ground. Keiv didn’t hunt animals. They were far too kind and intelligent to be used as a simple meal. He was always very observent when it came to animals. They would come onto the island as they pleased, because they knew it was a safe place to rest. Sometimes Keiv could even walk outside and have a quick talk with them. Of course they didn’t say much but they gave him the company he occasionally desired.

Realizing the time, Keiv decided to leave the deer and walked over to the center of the main hall. On the floor was a large painting which seemed to be almost alienated compared to the rest of the rennesaence style architecture. It was almost a form of writing, small letters of sorts making up the painting. On the roof of the castle was a large black chandalier; one that seemed it that it would fall at any moment. There were only three doors in the room. Two on the sides of the hall and one in the very far back. Three long towers extended upwards outside those doors, the farthest back reaching slightyl higher into the clouds.

Keiv walked through the large door on the left and took out a small note, placing it on a dark table in the middle of the room. It was a brighter room than the reat off the house, with a large glass pane instead off a roof. The moonlight shone through and into the room, giving it an almost luminescent feel. The walls were lined with shelves, covered with old dusty books and various objects. A chemistry set of sorts was laid out on the table, with unknown chemicals moving from tube to tube. Refocusing his attention, Keiv picked up the note and looked at the top. 23/12/09 it read with the title “Young Girl Missing”. Keiv looked through the bookshelves until he found a slot labeled “Gloria”. He gently placed the paper in with a collection of other newspapers. A small tear fell from his eye, as he reached up and touched it with his finger.

He shook his head and walked out the door and back into the main hall. This time he went through the opposite door on the west side, feeling the warm air of a fire as he closed the door behind himself. This room was smaller than the other, with nothing more than a fire on the far side and a small bed on the other. A small shelf rested on the wall with a faded picture and frame balanced delicatly ontop. In the picture was a small girl, about ten years old. She was smiling and holding a small black key. Keiv picked it up and lay it on the bed.
“Soon my love…” He said as he pressed the photo to his lips. Carefully pulling it away and putting it back on the shelf, he turned to look back at the fire one last time as he left the room quietly.

He head to the door in the far back of the central hall. The black chandalear in the middle of the room hung perfectly still as he progressed through into the room. Closing the door, he held his feet on a very thin ledge which steadily made its way around the tower. This room went very deep into the ground and very high up into the tower. There was no ground to stand on apart from the few inches his feet already occupied. The walls of the tower were very rough, with almost steps carved into the sides. He grabbed onto the wall and began to climb down into the ground carefully placing each foot down slowly and steadily. Once he was about ten feet or so down, he reached left, grabbing the lever that would have been completely missed if he didn’t know the castle off by heart. He gave it a quick jolt as the walls of the tower began to light up. There was a line of natural oil that went all along the base of the tower, and Keiv could now see the ground below him. He jumped down, just missing the gentle flames by inches. They made a ring around the base, providing a perfect lighting systen for Keiv. He stood up and head into the middle of the floor, where the black dirt seemed to be slighty indented. He lay down and moved his hands along the wall, rubbing his cold fingers on a small bronze switch. He gently flicked it down and the light fire began to slowly die down. He looked up and could now see the moon, as the tower had no roof to prevent his eyes from wandering out into the darkness. Small raindrops landed on his cheeks as he stared at the glowing white moon in an almost transitive fashion. After watching it for a moment, he turned to face the wall and let his mind wander off into distant times. His eyelids slowly fell over his grey eyes as he faded away from the world in a simple breath…

My heart,
Ripping out.
These stitches will not hold.

My heart,
Grasping tightly,
Trying to pull back together.

My heart,
Worn and beaten,
Escaping the bitter cold.

I’m holding on to the river or lies,
And hope that now runs dry.
I’m waiting on a day not coming,
And wishing for a brighter light.

My heart,
Bleeding through,
Trying to bury all my sins.
My heart,
Turning slowly,
Trying not to let this in.

My heart,
Cold and frozen,
Needing a fire to light the way.
My heart,
Dark and lonely,
Waiting to finally see the day.

I’m holding on to the tears I cry,
And watching the world just pass me by.
I’m waiting for you to fully see,
A life through only my eyes.

No one understands the pain I feel,
No one knows my heart.
So I will suffer cold and alone,
And wait it out in the dark.

Wait it out on my own,
On my own.